Do you have a business drinking buddy?

Written by The Librarian in Free Articles, Stress management

There’s an unspoken rule online, and in business in general, that is both a solid truth as well as an incomprehensible burden:

Always have your business face on.

That means smiling when you’re on the phone with a client. That means not ranting and bitching on Twitter when something in your business goes wrong. That means putting forward a professional image when you are posting things online (no drunk Facebooking, people).

It makes sense.

If you’re trying to attract a certain type of client, you better well not demonstrate all the characteristics that would make them NOT hire you.

And if you’re looking for referrals, you shouldn’t give your referrer any doubt in putting his name and reputation behind your business.

Even when you’re casually networking with people you’re rather comfortable with, sometimes you hold back juuuuust a little bit. Maybe not a whole lot, but just a little.

Because you want them to eventually buy from you.

And you don’t want to tell them that you’re credit card processing is a little shoddy, or a client is absolutely driving you crazy, or you tend to disappear when you’re stressed out. Because that would make you look embarrassingly unprofessional.

And if you’re ranting about a client, that would make you look like a schmuck.

And, FYI, you shouldn’t be a schmuck and talk badly about people. You shouldn’t publicly vent on an online space (look at all the Facebook users who’ve gotten fired because of that).

And if you REALLY want someone for a client, you might want to hold off telling them you’re depressed.

You have to be responsible about your business image. But there’s a downside to all of this public professionalism.

It’s like slamming a lid on a boiling pot of water. If you don’t let out a little steam, the lid’s going to blow.

There is an UNBELIEVABLE amount of stress that comes with running a business. And if you don’t dump it regularly, it’s going to be very painful when your stress piles on top of each other like an active volcano, waiting to erupt and wreak havoc on the unsuspecting town that is your business.

So how do you vent out this toxic steam when, everywhere you turn, you have to keep this professional front?

Kickboxing? Yoga? A giant bottle of Barefoot Bubbly’s Moscato?

While all of these help relieve stress, none of these relieve “baggage.” And there’s something to be said about airing out dirty laundry to a trusted business friend, and not your spouse, your best friend, or your American bobtail (though great companions, they are not substitutes).

For example:

1. You can share war stories

Who hasn’t felt better after having a date go incredibly wrong only to find out that your girlfriend’s horror story about her date sending his sister as an “acceptable stand in” tops yours on the Richter Scale? Suddenly your night doesn’t sound so bad.

Business war stories act the same. If you can find something to laugh about, even better.

2. You will be understood

Have you ever tried to explain something about work to your significant other only to get the glazed confused look, or the sympathetic pat on the back in response? (For all of you who have wonderful partners, God Bless you).

Sometimes we get technical. It’s like telling a joke to the wrong crowd. There’s some references that get lost, and the whole act of venting loses its usefulness. While it’s nice to vent to family and friends who aren’t at all connected to your work, having someone who understands business can take a huge load off.

3. You can get problem solving ideas

While I personally don’t go into these kinds of “therapeutic volcano erupting sessions” looking for an answer to a problem, sometimes it happens. You may go in with your main stress being that your cat has UTI and it’s cutting into your sleep and your ability to focus, and you might walk out with a couple of ideas on how to inform your clients of the situation as well as a firm push (more like shove if you’re one of my friends) from your business friends to go take a few days off.

[Tangent: For the record, my cat is fine. This is hypothetical. He had UTI in the past, though.]

Unwinding with a trusted business colleague is not only good, it’s necessary, and something that’s severely overlooked in the online business world. We’re on the clock all the time. We have a public face all the time. And while family, friends, and personal “me” time all help us come offline, having the ability to let down your hair or loosen your tie with a small group of business friends does wonders to your mindset.

I have two lovely business friends that I meet with regularly for “virtual drinks.” I want to thank them for inspiring this post. You know who you are.

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How To Insult Someone In 140 Characters Or Less

Written by The Librarian in Etiquette 101, Free Articles, Smackdown, Twitter

There are some things that just break a good librarian’s back. In this case of “What Not to Do,” this tweet was just one straw too many.

Offending Tweet:

LaptopCoolers4
@thecopycorner High Quality, Inexpensive, Professional Web Design – [link]

Why is this bad? Let me count the ways:

1) this is spam

When you direct an UNWANTED link or a promotion to someone, especially if you do not know them, this is spam.

b) this is intrusive

Most likely I was having a conversation with someone else about web design at the time. But the point is, I was having a conversation and you stuffed your self promotion down my gullet. Not appreciated.

c) this is to just get me to click on the link

Unethical link baiting or building link juice to drive traffic to your blog or your business is one of the most common malpracticed techniques out there. In this case, if all this person wanted was traffic and eyeballs, or got paid a commission to push out promotional tweets, he wouldn’t really care if I got offended so long as there’s a click at the end.

d) this is offensive

If this was an honest to god pitch to me from a legitimate business to use their services, they did it HORRIBLY. At the time of this tweet, my bio said I built WordPress websites. Which meant that either

a) They didn’t do their homework or even bothered to figure out that i was technically a competitor, or
b) They just told me my website building skills SUCKED ASS and I needed their rescue.

I’m not really sure which was more insulting.

Now normally, if you got a tweet like this, you’d go “oh, that’s a spammer” or a spambot that automatically pushes out tweets to people that mention a certain keyterm.

That’s not a live person really trying to pitch their services. No one would be that stupid. I shouldn’t get my panties all tied in a knot.

But what if it wasn’t?

What if you’re NOT a spammer, you’d never be this inconsiderate in real life, but what if some fool told you this was the way to “join the conversation” and promote on Twitter?

They said “listen for your keyterms. And if you see people need help, then jump in! Offer yourself up and show you’re readily available.”

Um… this just showed me you were a stalker, not that you were the answers to my prayers.

General rule:

small brands + intrusive twitter stalking = no no.

If you’re stalking me, or most likely a key term I mentioned–which is legitimate, you can do keyword research on trending topics with twitter–that’s fine. I know a lot of people who act as a fly on the internet wall and just listen. But don’t let me KNOW that you’ve been waiting in my proverbial bedroom until I said the magic words of “website help”. Yeesh. First rule of stalkerdome: Don’t get caught.

Now if you’re a large known brand and you want to show that you care about the conversation centered around you? That’s different. If I was talking about how my Starbucks coffee was served to me lukewarn, I’d be touched that a Starbucks rep said sorry when I wasn’t expecting that on Twitter. That just boosted up brownie points in my book. And I wasn’t even really complaining.

If I’m talking about web development with my friends and you TWEET me implying that you know my pain and “Hey~! lets take that load off of your shoulders!” Hooray! You’ve gotten my attention.

But now I:

Think you’re a douche.
Will never buy from you. Ever
(Since I have a big mouth) will tell everyone about your douche-ness, and
If I happened to be pmsing at the time, will block and report you as a spammer.

Now if I can somehow deduce that you’re a real person and not a spammer, I will usually not do 3 and 4. But 1 and 2 is a given. And if you’re a legit business owner hoping to attract more business through Twitter, then you know this is already the kiss of death.

Don’t do it. And treat the other person at the end of your @reply as an intelligent human being.

Thank you.

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LinkedIn Etiquette 101: Invitations

Written by The Librarian in Etiquette 101, Free Articles, LinkedIn

If a random stranger walks up to you and thrusts out his name and phone number and tells you to call him, would you?

Short answer: “Hell no.”

Then why do people do this exact same thing on their LinkedIn invitations?

Here’s a quickie tip: please introduce yourselves.

Places like LinkedIn and Facebook make it easy to send connection or friend requests. For Facebook, they give you the option of writing a personal note, but it’s not required. (And if they’re your friend, it’s assumed they’d know your name and picture, right?)

But for LinkedIn, there’s a generic “I’d like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn” type note with your name attached to it. It’s to make your life easier and encourage you to press the Send Invitation button.

Please, when you are sending invites, I ask you think twice on pressing send without customizing the note first.

Often times, the person you are connecting with may have a hard time remembering your name, or might have something else on her mind at the time they view your invitation. It’s courteous, and speaks more of you, to send a personalized note with a little reminder of where you met and why you want to connect with them.

Maybe they were in a LinkedIn group you were in, and you liked some of the posts they placed in the discussion board.

Maybe it was someone you met in real life, but it was a giant conference event with over a hundred different faces and more than a dozen meaningful conversations. Add a reminder that you met at the conference and you enjoyed the last conversation you had.

Maybe you know this person extremely well and you’ve had a bunch of fun tweets together. Still write a personalized note, even though the person you’re connecting with knows your name and face. It’s still nice. And writing a small note can prompt up a new discussion between you two.

I always see a LinkedIn invitation as a way to break the ice and start a dialogue between you and the person you want to connect with.

Please don’t succumb to just hitting the send button on LinkedIn requests just because it filled in the blank for you. Always make your intention known when sending an invitation. At the very least, say:

Who you are
Where you met/how you know each other
Why you want to connect

You’d never send a blank email with someone you highly respected or thought was interesting, right?

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